Saturday, January 28, 2012

Andy Rooney on Sex!


Picture credit: http://media.photobucket.com

Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney (January 14, 1919 – November 4, 2011) was an American radio and television writer. Andy Rooney is dead at 92. He will be remembered for the many pithy things he said in his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011.

Unfortunately, he is also remembered for things he didn't say, though folks on the Internet claim he did.

So, we are not sure about these clever remarks on SEX that Ah Guan of Singapore sent us and attributed to Andy but they are such great laughs:

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

16. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!



Thursday, January 26, 2012

Sleep Disturbance Associated with Cardiovascular and Metabolic Disorders

Picture credit: http://upload.wikimedia.org


Sleep Problems Increase Risk for Cardiovascular Disease, Diabetes and Obesity

People who suffer from sleep disturbances are at major risk for obesity, diabetes, and coronary artery disease, according to new research from the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania.

For the first time in such a large and diverse sample, analyzing the data of over 130,000 people, the new research also indicates that general sleep disturbance (difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, and/or sleeping too much) may play a role in the development of cardiovascular and metabolic disorders.

Difficulty Falling Asleep, Difficulty Staying Asleep, Too Much Sleep, Also Associated

“Previous studies have demonstrated that those who get less sleep are more likely to also be obese, have diabetes or cardiovascular disease, and are more likely to die sooner, but this new analysis has revealed that other sleep problems, such as difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or even too much sleep, are also associated with cardiovascular and metabolic health issues,” said Michael A. Grandner, PhD, research associate at the Center for Sleep and Circadian Neurobiology at Penn and lead author of the study.

The researchers examined associations between sleep disturbances and other health conditions, focusing on perceived sleep quality, rather than just sleep duration. After adjusting for demographic, socioeconomic and health risk factors, patients with sleep disturbances at least three nights per week on average were 35 percent more likely to be obese, 54 percent more likely to have diabetes, 98 percent more likely to have coronary artery disease, 80 percent more likely to have had a heart attack, and 102 percent more likely to have had a stroke.

Sleep, Diet and Physical Activity Important Part of Health

“This study is one of the largest ever to link sleep problems with important cardiovascular and metabolic diseases. It joins other studies that show that sleep is an important part of health, just like diet and physical activity,” said Philip R. Gehrman, PhD, CBSM, assistant professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry, clinical director of the Penn Medicine Behavioral Sleep Medicine Program, and senior study author.

“We all know what it feels like to not sleep well sometimes. And now we can clearly show that those who have chronic sleep problems are also much more likely to have chronic health problems as well. As a society, we need to make healthy sleep a priority”

The researchers say that future studies are needed to show whether sleep problems predict the new onset of cardiovascular and metabolic disease, and whether treatment of sleep problems improves long term health and longevity. The research was funded, in part, by a grant from the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute.

<<< * >>>

The above story is adapted by The Zestzfulness Team from the January 20, 2012 news release by the University of Pennsylvania.

The study is published online ahead of print in the Journal of Sleep Research: Grandner MA, Jackson NJ, Pak VM, Gehrman PR. Sleep disturbance is associated with cardiovascular and metabolic disorders. J Sleep Res. 2011 Dec 12. doi: 10.1111/j.1365-2869.2011.00990.x.


Read our earlier posts on sleep problems


Poor Sleep Quality and Cardiovascular Diseases

Growing evidence links sleep quality to cardiovascular disease (CVD) risk, and an increased production of inflammatory hormones and changes in blood vessel function may be one mechanism by which sleep deprivation ...

Extremes of sleep duration increase BMI, SAT, and VAT

The authors proposed that short sleep may impact fat accumulation by promoting increased caloric intake via increased hunger, or by reducing energy expenditure via altered thermoregulation and increased fatigue. ...

Too Little or Too Much Sleep Harmful

King et al at University of Chicago Medical Center found that not getting enough sleep increases the risk of clogged up arteries and heart disease (2). Conversely, sleeping well appears to prevent calcified deposits in the ...

and Get a Better Night's Sleep here:

Don't rely on a pot of coffee to keep you awake -- Instead of turning to a pot of coffee to keep you awake during the day, experts say you should focus on getting better sleep at night. The National Sleep Foundation offers these ...

Another Funny One-Liner

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Author unknown.

In the Year of the Dragon


We did not draw this picture, we got it HERE

Sunday, January 22, 2012

In The Year Of The Dragon


Picture credit: http://images.catchsmile.com


The Zestzfulness Team Wishes You


Wisdom Muse

Prosperity Motivation Laughter

Family Friends Dream Success Memory Patience

Hope Luck Beauty Creativity Trust Compassion Faith

Inspiration Peace on Earth Happiness Confidence Joy Curiosity

Thoughtfulness Courage Freedom Love Discovery Gratitude Forgiveness


The choice of font type, size and color is random but the essence of our wish for you this year of the dragon and of the year of all the other animals in the Chinese zodiac is simply:


Mindfulness and Loving Kindness

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Exercise : Scientists Isolate Link to Health Benefits

Scientists isolate protein linking exercise to health benefits


Dana-Farber Cancer Institute researchers have isolated a protein produced in muscle cells that triggers some of the important benefits from exercise. The protein, which researchers named 'irisin,' switches on genes that convert adipose tissue to beneficial fats that help the body burn more off more excess calories than exercise alone.

Hormone discovery could yield exercise-mimicking drugs for metabolic and other disorders.

The scientists said their findings merely scratch the surface of irisin's multiple effects. They are continuing to explore the hormone's possible benefits in metabolic diseases like diabetes, insulin resistance, and obesity, which constitute a growing epidemic around the world, as well as neurodegenerative illnesses like Parkinson's disease.Link

Bruce Spiegelman, PhD, a cell biologist at Dana-Farber and senior author of the report added that as growing evidence implicates obesity and physical inactivity in cancer development, it's conceivable irisin-based drugs may have value in prevention and treatment of the disease.


Reference:

Boström P, Wu J, Jedrychowski MP, Korde A, Ye L et al. A PGC1-α-dependent myokine that drives brown-fat-like development of white fat and thermogenesis. Nature doi:10.1038/nature1077. Published online 11 January 2012


The Zestzfulness Team says,

“Why wait, get out and exercise regularly!”



The Taxi


Picture credit : http://www.davekehr.com/


A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Vancouver.

It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings.

"Mom" said the boy "what are all those women doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work" she replied.

The taxi driver turns around and says "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says "Is that true Mom?"

His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks "Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?"

"Most of them become politicians taxi drivers" she said.


Submitted by SC Khoo, original author unknown.