Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A Practical Computer Program that Diagnoses Diseases in Actual Patients

 Uploaded by on Apr 24, 2009

If you don't have the 1 hour to listen to the talk, Edwin Ng suggests you take a quick tour at your neighbourhood 99

He includes a testimony from his friend Joe:

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe told me, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,"  I replied.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at 99. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do  about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars, a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposited a urine sample in a small jar and took it to 99.

He deposited ten Ringgit and the computer lighted up and asked for the urine sample. He poured the sample into the slot and waited.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejected a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at 99"

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurried back to 99, eager to check the results. He deposited the money, poured in his concoction, and awaited for the results.

The computer printed the following:

  1. Your  tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
  2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.  (Aisle 7)
  3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
  4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.  Get a lawyer.
  5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at 99.

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