We are not sure about the copyright of the following legal jokes but we got them unsolicited and at no charge from a certain John Ng, an old alumni of St Anthony's, Teluk Anson:
First Joke - A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My
neighbour owes me $500 andhe doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?"
"Do you have any proof?", asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied
the man. "Okay, then write him aletter asking him for the $1,000 he owes
you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500!" replied the man.
"Precisely, that's what he will reply and we will have the proof we
need," said the lawyer.
Second Joke - The professor of a Contract Law class asked
one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how
would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged."No! No! Think like a lawyer!" The student
then replied, "Ok.I will tell him - "I hereby give and convey to you
all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title and advantages
of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp and seeds,and
all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise
eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and
seeds, anything herein before and hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds,
instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise
notwithstanding.
Third Joke - A dog
ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.Fortunately, the
butcher recognised the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour
happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his
neighbour and said, "Hey, if yourdog stole a roast from my butcher shop,
would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied,
"Of course, how much was the roast?" "RM18.00." A few days
later the butcher received a cheque in the mail for for RM18.00. Attached to it
was an invoice that read: 'LegalConsultation Service: RM150.
Fourth Joke - The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his
father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with Honours, and
then went home to join his father's legal firm. At the end of his first day at
work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, you know what,
in one day I managed to solve the accident case that you've been working on for
10 years!" His father responded: " You idiot, we lived on the funding
of that case for 10 years!"
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