AMA (Aussie Medical Assembly?) researchers have found
that patients needing blood transfusions may benefit
from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.
It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better....
While waiting for correct blood match from a chicken, Edwin Ng shares with us some of his experience with the doctor who will be performing his transfusion:
My doctor is very good! If you tell him you want a second opinion, He'll go out and come in again.
He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years Before he realized she was Chinese.
Another time, he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."
Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled, "Doctor, doctor! - my son just swallowed a roll of film!" The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what develops."
One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?"
I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."
My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these -If they don't work, give me a ring."
Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."
When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, He told me to stop going to those places.
You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment, Then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."
Yee Hing tells us about his recent encounter with a snotty clinic receptionist
A couple of weeks ago I had an appointment to see the Consultant Urologist after a prostate operation.
Of course, I was a bit on edge because I wanted to know that everything had gone okay and how quickly my life would get back to normal.
The waiting room was filled with patients and absolutely silent.
As I approached the reception desk, I noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me.
I am now a very embarrassed man but I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, ”NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION .........BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”The room erupted in applause!
DON'T MESS WITH OLD FARTS!!!