Man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra.
Chemist said "It would be useless."
Man said, "I am 90, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes".
Reporter: Your secretary said publicly that you have a small pen*s, would you care to comment on this?
Man: "The truth is that she has a big mouth!"
What is the similarity between a swimming pool and a wife?
For both, we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
Love is a complicated piece of machinery.
Sometimes, all you need is a good screw to fix it.
What's the difference between biology and sociology?
When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" has never seen a pussy before.
Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"
God said, "Okay" and Poof! Dracula turned into a sanitary pad".